LISTEN TO ME!!!

LISTEN TO ME!!! Our opinions are fashioned by personal experiences. But there are somethings I want to say to everyone about sexual abuse.





To the victims of sexual abuse: God hates the wickedness that has happened to you. He’s angry at the one that hurt you. Be assured that he will punish sin. He loves you. He has compassion for you. He wants to hold you in his arms and cry with you. You were not created to handle the evil in this world. I understand the depth of your hurt that goes beyond the physical leaving scars on your spirit and in your soul. But I know that Jesus can and will heal you. You were created to be loved and cherished. Please don’t turn to another source for comfort. The numbness offered by drugs and alcohol are temporary and cause additional hurt. Please accept the loving hand that Jesus is offering you today. God loves you, and I love you.

To the unrepentant pedophile: Your pleasure isn’t worth the damage you cause. Children remember, and so does their Savior. God hates the wicked acts you’ve committed. You have harmed the apple of God’s eye. His punishment is greater than any judge on Earth. Fear God and repent. If not, you will be forever tormented in hell with no chance of forgiveness.

To the pedophile sick at his own actions: Is your pleasure worth a lifetime of hurt? Seek professional help. You cannot overcome this temptation on your own. Stay away from children. We are all human and we all fail. But if you fall off the wagon, a child’s life is destroyed. Jesus can help you, if you let Him. Confess your sins and He is faithful and just to forgive you.

To the parents or caretakers of abuse victims: Wrap your arms around the child and say, "I beleive you." No matter the hassle. No matter the public embarrassment. No matter the ridicule stand by the victim. DO NOT ask them to drop the charges. DO NOT ask them to just forget about it.DO NOT try to convince them they imagined the abuse. Victims need your support. They need your strength. If you don’t handle the legalities and the devastation caused by abuse, you are telling the victim they don’t matter. Their pain doesn’t matter. Their future doesn’t matter. DO seek help for the victim. You can’t understand the depth of pain they are processing. They need professional counselling.

To the parents of a young perpetrator: This is not your fault. This is an evil attack and your child needs help to overcome these unnatural urges. The problem won’t go away. Unchecked, your child’s behavior will get worse. Seek professional help. Alert the authorities. The best thing a parent can do for a child is to admit their flaws and help repair them.

To adults living with the shame of unreported abuse: I’m sorry. You don’t have to feel alone any longer, because I am here for you, and God is here for you. He can heal you from the horrid nightmares. He can heal you from your fear of intimacy. He can heal the hatred you’ve harbored for so long. Please, cry out to Jesus. Let Him will restore your soul.

To the women watching from the sidelines: Don’t judge us. Many victims lash out in their pain. Young girls become promiscuous. Some turn to alcohol and drugs to numb the pain. Help us. Love us. Remind us that our bodies were made to be cherished. Teach us that we have value. Tell us that Jesus loves us. Show us that we can overcome evil by God’s goodness.

To the men who are silent: Speak for us by teaching boys and young men that we are to be treasured. Love us by demanding that the world respect our bodies. Protect us by calling out suspicious behavior before it turns to abuse. Erase the gray lines between a man’s natural desire and perversion by creating safe boundaries for yours and other men interactions with women. DO NOT remain silent. Downplaying sexual abuse, refusing to discuss it, or protecting the perpetrator is saying the victims ARE NOT important. Our feelings don’t matter. Our nightmares. Our struggle to forgive ourselves and the ones who’ve hurt us. Stand up and be the man God created you to be. Do your job. Provide for us. Love us. Protect us. 

LISTEN TO ME!!! 

Our Hugs Belong to Jesus

Some months ago, Dylan Farrow wrote an open letter about the abuse of her father, Woody Allen. Because of his celebrity status, the letter was published in the NY Times and received a lot of media attention.

But what about the unheard voices? Voices of little girls and boys around the globe suffering in silence?

I have talked with many sexual abuse victims. Their stories are all very achingly similar. A friend or relative that they have been taught to love and respect breaks trust and touches them inappropriately. Those awkward touches escalate over time into sexual assault. We have all heard horrifying stories.

As a mother, I asked myself; how can I protect my child? Of course, I’ve the import question. “Has anyone touched you inappropriately?”

Then one day while grocery shopping, we see a distant relative. He’s an older gentlemen and he asks her for a hug. 

I watch as she grimaced and endured an awkward embrace. Me, being a paranoid mom, watched his hands very carefully, but both touched only her shoulders.

Yet, she clearly didn’t want the hug.

When we were back in the car, I asked, “Why did you hug him, if you didn’t want to?”

Her answer astounded me. She said, “I didn’t want to be rude.”

My 10 year old daughter accepted a hug that she clearly didn’t want, because I had taught her to be nice. 

Right there in the parking lot. I assured her that her body was special. A gift from God. And she didn’t have to hug or kiss anyone.

It wasn’t rude.

But it was rude of people to claim her affections without permission.

As a mother, I’ve often struggled with ways to protect my children from sexual predators without revealing more sexual knowledge than their immature minds can process. 

But here is my answer.

Their bodies belong to God. And no one has a right to touch them without their permission. If someone makes you feel uncomfortable, it’s okay to tell them that your hugs belong to Jesus.

That’s not rude.

That’s smart.

That’s safe.

Later that night, I wondered again why she didn’t want to the man to hug her. So I asked.

Her answer, “He has bad breath.”